Approaching 'The Talk'

While a step parent often steps in and steps up when something is amiss, there is one place no step parent in their right mind wants to go.

Let’s call it “The Talk”.

You know where I am coming from. It might be puberty generally or “the birds and the bees”. God forbid it may even be talking about menstruation.

Regardless of how bad things between two ex-partners - even if they are not on speaking terms – if their daughter has begun menstruation there are a couple of basic things that the biological mother should do.

1.    She does need to tell her ex in some way. If she cannot bear to speak to them, then email or text.

2.    Do not assume, if there is a step mum on the scene, that she will have a supply of pads or tampons. She may well wear a coil or have had a hysterectomy. Either send the daughter with stuff packed OR again, let the ex know to make sure there are supplies in a bathroom cupboard.

While a step parent often steps in and steps up when something is amiss, there is one place no step parent in their right mind wants to go.

Let’s call it “The Talk”.

You know where I am coming from. It might be puberty generally or “the birds and the bees”. God forbid it may even be talking about menstruation.

Regardless of how bad things between two ex-partners - even if they are not on speaking terms – if their daughter has begun menstruation there are a couple of basic things that the biological mother should do.

1.    She does need to tell her ex in some way. If she cannot bear to speak to them, then email or text.

2.    Do not assume, if there is a step mum on the scene, that she will have a supply of pads or tampons. She may well wear a coil or have had a hysterectomy. Either send the daughter with stuff packed OR again, let the ex know to make sure there are supplies in a bathroom cupboard.

It’s not that difficult.

So, if you are the mother of a girl who just happens to have begun menstruation when she is staying at your ex and stepmother’s place, please use some common sense.

The old adage of Murphy’s Law applies here. Because anything that can go wrong will go wrong, it is highly likely that menstruation may begin just after the girl has been dropped off.

As her mum do you want your daughter to go the whole weekend not knowing what is actually going on and being too scared to ask?

Or if the girl does ask and the step mother does the right thing and fills the void, will you realize that the stepmother has not done this to ‘one-up’ or spite you?

No step mother even wants to give The Talk when she knows her stepdaughter has a mother who should have already done it.

The step mother has given the talk because she cares about this girl who one day will become a woman and at that exact moment in life, your daughter needed some help.

Sadly, for many of us this one more event in life where we do the right thing in another no-win situation.